Mel Gibson – Humph!

June 23, 2010

Push The Button

June 16, 2010

No-one knows the price of a loaf of bread any more. Or a pint of milk. No-one knows what a pint is come to think of it…

Don’t Fight To Get Even…

June 13, 2010

For the last time, I’m tellin’ ya, fight to win – gettin’ even’s for losers. Schmuck! What? I don’t CARE! When you said you wanted a coach, what did you want? Some clown school or sometin’.

Preparation Is Key

June 8, 2010

I’m often asked for advise on how to handle yourself in a job interview situation. Take a moment to reflect; on what to say if asked;

  • Why do you want the job?
  • What are your career ambitions?
  • What achievements and skills do you think will be useful in this job?

True success in an interview situation however, is largely a matter of mental attitude. Practice the following strategies until they become second nature;

  • If you’re really nervous take some deep breaths and try to relax.
  • Take your time when answering questions and try to show how your skills and abilities will help you perform the job.
  • If you don’t understand a question, don’t be afraid to ask the interviewer to repeat it.
  • Lie through your teeth. Make sure to cover your mouth with your hand while doing this.

Wild Tie

June 3, 2010

Check out my sartorial elegance. The rest of you don’t even get as much as a mention. Bunch a’ loosers. You want to look good, get yourself a decent suit – tailored, not your off-the-rack rubbish. And the tie is the clincher. Got that?

And a haircut. And a beard.

Over and out. Got cool stuff to do.

A Topic Of Great Importance

June 2, 2010

Three large ladies discussing something of great import. Notice the inward lean of the woman with the pram (although I totally understand if you mistook it for a Sinclair C5). If you studied the image long enough to form that (sadly mistaken) impression, you will doubtless have noticed the hand-on-hip stance of her opposing partner in conversation. What matter, you may well ask, would captivate this trio so? Food or something. How would I know? I was miles away at the time.